Don’t be so mean
If you are being mean to yourself. Ask yourself – ‘Would I talk to a loved one in this way?’ If the answer is no, then make the decision NOW that you won’t continue to speak to yourself, in your own head, like that either. Love has to start at home first.
Be kind and compassionate to you
Remind yourself that you deserve as much kindness, affection and warmth as the next person. So how about showing yourself a little more compassion and respect starting today? Be gentle and considerate with your feelings. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. So why not praise yourself as much as you can. All things considered – you are doing just great. Give yourself some credit.
Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses
Typically, we are often very good at noticing all of our flaws but not so good at focusing on all of our strengths. It’s not arrogant to remind yourself of all your positive qualities it’s actually essential to maintain healthy self esteem. So why not try making a mental note of all your wonderful attributes and achievements today. You are wonderful – you might just have momentarily forgotten this fact!
Stop frightening yourself
Stop terrorising yourself with your nasty thoughts or catastrophising situations. Things are never as bad as we often make them out to be in our head. So stop thinking worst case scenario and start thinking best case scenario instead. Focus on a time when you felt calm and relaxed and bring that into your awareness.
Have some fun and smile
Remember that we all need to have things in our life to look forward to. Remind yourself of any little pleasures that you may be able to re-introduce into your life today or old hobbies you may have let slip. Let yourself express the joy of living just like you did as an innocent child. Smile. Laugh and just allow yourself to have some good old fashioned fun.
Don’t delay your happiness
Don’t wait to find your happiness until that new job, that new relationship or that new whatever turns up. Make the decision to live in the here and now and search for all those happy moments just waiting for you in today. Remind yourself to be grateful for what is here right now and not sad about what you think is missing.
Allow yourself to be still
Because we are often so focused on the next step in life – ‘where we need to be’; ‘who we need to see’ and ‘what we need to do’ – we often forget that sometimes it’s OK to simply allow ourselves to ‘just be’ and enjoy the moment. Take pleasure from the here and now.
Let go of the past. None of us are perfect – we all make mistakes it’s part of being human – so let go of anything that might be holding you back in any way. It’s important to remember that you did the best you could at the time with the awareness and knowledge that you had at that point. So – don’t beat yourself up over it now. Use your new understanding to live the way you want to live now.
Do you realise that most things we worry about never actually come to pass and yet we still all expend countless hours, fretting and worrying about things we have very little control over. Give yourself a break and conserve your energy by focusing on some possible solutions instead.
Release that perfectionist streak
Be honest – are you setting yourself ridiculously high standards or deadlines which are completely stressing you out? And then giving yourself a hard time if you don’t live up to those expectations? If so, give yourself a break – you can’t be perfect all the time and nobody expects you to be. Just keep trying to do the best you can.
Become the quiet observer on your thoughts
Become a conscious, neutral, observer on what you are saying to yourself. It’s important to gently become aware of how often you are talking negatively to yourself – you might be surprised by how often that occurs. Why not listen to your inner wisdom – for a change? Or even just allow yourself to explore the realms of complete stillness and turn off the inner chatter completely?
Look after your health
As well as nurturing your mind make sure you also look after your body by eating healthily and exercising regularly. Remember that just as the mind can influence the body, so the body can influence the mind and one of the simplest ways to help alleviate stress is by doing physical exercise.
Give yourself some direct appreciation
At least once a day remind yourself have loveable you really are. A good time might be first thing in the morning and last thing at night when you are brushing your teeth and you look in the mirror. Look directly into your eyes and remind yourself how great you are and what you really like about you! This may seem strange at first but stick with it!
Understand the good intentions behind your fears
Last but not least, don’t give yourself a hard time if you are feeling worried by life. Understand that all your concerns stem from a place of good intention. It’s your natural self protection mechanism kicking in to keep you safe from harm. So don’t hate yourself for having negative worry thoughts. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfil a need but now you have lots of alternative response behaviours available (as detailed above) you can gently and lovingly start releasing any old negative patterns.
So why hesitate? By simply changing the smallest thing and incorporating just one of the suggestions above you might make a big shift and be a better life coach than you ever imagined possible…