Often when we are feeling low the truth is we are being our own worst critic and we can speak to ourselves in a very negative, self defeating way. Sometimes it’s easy to go into overdrive pointing out all the things that you feel are wrong with you and your life. I know I’ve been there.

But the question is would you ever speak to a loved one or your best friend in this way? If the answer is no then why are you speaking to yourself in that way?

You wouldn’t phone up a friend and tell them everything you dislike about them or berate them for doing something wrong. You wouldn’t visit a loved one and for no apparent reason release a tirade of abuse or unpleasantness. And yet every day for some strange reason we think it’s perfectly acceptable to abuse ourselves in this way, inside our own head, by giving ourselves a really hard time.

Let me give you a heads up though—it’s not OK.

Real change started happening for me when I started treating myself in the same way I treated my best friend — with compassion and understanding.

The truth is that YOU are the most important person in your world and YOU deserve all the care and consideration that YOU bestow upon others.

If your best friend turned up on your doorstep in floods of tears after a bad day—I’m sure the first thing you would want to do is cheer them up and make them feel better. You might try and calm them down; offer them words of comfort or support and get them to see the situation isn’t really so bad after all. So how about we start doing the same for ourselves too?

So next time you notice that you are giving yourself a hard time why don’t you replace that voice of distain with the gentle voice of friendship and see what that voice says to you instead? Rather than telling yourself that ‘you aren’t good enough’. Why don’t you suggest that, ‘you are good enough’ and under the circumstances you are doing rather well.  In fact, why don’t you go one step further and give yourself some genuine reassurance and comfort that you are liked, appreciated and, shock horror, even loved by you?

If you find it hard to begin with you can start the process off my imagining what your best friend or loved one might say to you in this situation. What kindly words might they offer you as comfort? When you can open yourself up to understand you really deserve this compassion a noticeable shift will take place on the inside which will help you deal with things more on the outside.


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