By Guest Blogger Emma Brooke

Ever feel like an ungrateful b*&tch sometimes? You know you should be happy that your family are interested in your life and you know they only want the best for you, but they’re so in your face you find it hard to breath?

There are two types of overbearing family members: those who you feel are out to get you and bring you down, and those who you know love you but need to understand that you can manage (and want to manage) on your own a bit more.

The former are a bit more tricky. These family members obviously have their own stuff going on and you may well not be the person who’s going to make them realise they have issues. Your job instead is to manage yourself and your own feelings and let them worry about theirs. This can be really tough when someone you love is acting in a self-destructive way, but ultimately we are all responsible for ourselves and no-one can control anyone else (isn’t that why you’re reading this in the first place?!).

In the case of the family with issues, sometimes just politely saying you need some space is the only way to go. If things are such that no matter how hard you try, your family aren’t capable at this moment in time of really listening to you and your needs, it’s on you to make the decision as to whether it’s serving you (and them) to continue to have as much contact as you do, and what that contact looks like.

Fortunately, I think it’s safe to say most family drama stems from family members thinking they know best, but also wanting the best for you, because deep down they love you.

This, believe it or not, is great, because it’s a starting point, and because, actually, having people who love you is a great thing, and if they love you it means they actually do want to see you happy, so you have a better chance of them listening to you.

The trick of handling pushy family members is the mindset and energy you start the conversation with, and how you hold that energy throughout your interaction with them. Annoyingly, it’s all about you here, so no more blaming them!

Before you know you’re going to see or speak to them, take a couple of deep breaths and imagine a ray of white, loving energy extending from your heart straight through to theirs. Do this even if they’re calling you (I know, that sinking feeling when you see caller ID, but that energy is what starts the conversation going badly before you’ve even said Hello!).

Once you’ve visualised that, remind yourself that they love you, and you love them. Really listen to them when they talk and take a moment to centre back in to that place of loving intention before you respond. That pause will seem like an awkward silence to you but they won’t notice it. It’ll mean though, that whatever energy they’ve thrown at you – anger, resentment, frustration etc, will be neutralised before you respond back. So instead of instigating an attack-attack back and forth, you neutralise the attack and respond from love.

Guess what happens eventually when a person is constantly attacking and getting only love in return? They give up and start listening to their loving voice too!

I know this sounds a bit woo woo but please bear with me and give it a try – it really does work! If you keep responding consistently from a place of love, you’ll be able to express how you really feel to your loved ones, in a loving way, without them getting upset.

I’d love to hear how you get on with this or what you struggle with – post in the comments below or come join the FB group and share your experiences 🙂

 

Author Biog

Emma Brooke1Emma Brooke is a coach, counsellor, avid yogi and meditator. She helps move people from people-pleasing into a new definition of selfishness; one where, by looking after yourself and your needs, you are able to best serve the world.

Join the #selfishconsciousness movement in her Fearless Consciousness Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/fearlessconsciousness/] and subscribe for weekly updates at EmmaBrooke.net [http://www.emmabrooke.net]