It’s amazing in life how we sometimes battle to try and stay in control of situations. Whatever that situation may be – whether it’s working out for us or not. We often, doggedly, stick to the same patterns, the same controlling behaviour – the same dramas – favouring one particular outcome.

Perhaps we are trying to steer something in one particular direction at work and have decided that we will only be happy if one particular outcome occurs. (Even when all the signs are saying something different and doors keeping closing in our face.)

Or perhaps we have set our hearts on a particular person or romantic partner and are trying desperately hard to pursue or control that relationship. (Even though everything seems to be pointing us in another direction.)

Or perhaps, we have simply noticed that in our everyday life, we are being overly rigid and regimented in our day-today activities and are trying to control the things and people around us too much (often to our friends and colleagues irritation).

However, control is manifesting in your life it’s probably time to have a good honest look at that – and see how it’s really working out for you.

Although it is no bad thing to have a clear vision of where we want to go, trying to overtly control your life, your life goals, or people in your life can often leave us feeling despondent especially when things don’t seem to turn out exactly the way we had so carefully planned.

The honest truth is that sometimes we have to just surrender, release control and gracefully let go… trusting that life is unfolding just as it should… Even though you may not be living the perfect picture you imagined in your mind’s eye. It’s trusting and accepting that you are exactly where you should be at exactly the right time. Warts and all.

When grace or divine unconditional love flows through you it allows you to relax your mind and your body and open up your heart – allowing new possibilities, new blessings or new outcomes to be gently presented to you which you may have not allowed, or even considered previously.

The concept of surrender for many people often brings up negative connotations about failure or defeat and this is where many of us fall down but the type of surrender I’m talking about couldn’t be more different.

Real surrender invites you to let go of your desire to control everything and allows you to invite a higher power in to help direct your life. It’s saying, I choose peace and I am willing to let go and trust that the universe is on my side here. There is a greater plan going on, a bigger picture at play and maybe I just can’t see it all yet. Maybe I can’t reach that point because I am actually supposed to be at another point even more suited to my growth and evolution at this time and that’s OK.

I know that is often easier said than done but just think about it for a few minutes. How often have you been in a situation when you thought it was the end of the world only to discover a little further down the line that the same said ‘terrible’ situation (that you thought was going to break you) actually catapulted you into something even bigger, brighter or better?

Your hardest Times

I remember when I was first made redundant, I put up a great resistance fighting against the decision and fighting against the establishment, sure that a great misdeed had been done. I felt hurt, undervalued and rejected. It was only when I eventually surrendered and let go that I realised that this could, in fact, be a great opportunity.

I hadn’t been happy in the role for a while and what it actually did was make me re-evaluate my career and decide to take the time to re-train to become a therapist – something that I never would have considered previously. With hindsight, I can now see that that the redundancy (though difficult at the time) was a great catalyst for me and made me see very clearly that every cloud really does have a silver lining.

Whenever, people are going through difficult situations now I invite them to change their perspective and contemplate whether a NO is really a rejection or a cosmic redirection. Perhaps there is something more aligned to your soul purpose just waiting for you around the corner?

Continuing with the clichés here – I know that often in life it’s difficult to see the wood for the trees (especially if we feel as though we are in the middle of a forest fire!) But it’s important to remember that the universe is supporting us and often has even grander plans for us than we can imagine. This doesn’t mean we should sit back and put our feet up and fall into inertia – it just means that we need to trust that we are being supported and guided when we do take action.

So if that job offer doesn’t come through, that relationship doesn’t work out or life just feels like an uphill struggle at the moment – sometimes it’s OK to allow yourself to pause, relax and just surrender in the knowledge that maybe, just maybe everything is playing out just as it should be…