Right from a very early age we are often asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I remember my careers advisor telling me (after filling out a rather peculiar questionnaire) that I was most suited to either being a barrister or a florist! Read into that what you will! I’m not sure there are many openings for Interflora lawyers! Actually, what I really wanted to be was an interior designer but I was told, in no uncertain terms, by my teacher that there was no money in that profession and was encouraged to pursue something more financially viable!

The truth is, of course, that if I was giving careers advice to someone now, I would ask – what fires you up? What gets your creative juices going? What would you do if money was no object? What are you passionate about? What do you love doing? Not what’s the projected annual income for that profession and how secure do you think it is as a future career option!

Taking it one step further though – I think there is an even deeper layer to the question “What do you want to be” that goes beyond the workplace and employment that we often overlook in our busy day-today lives…

Emotionally speaking – on more an energetic playing field “What do you want to be?” and closely linked to that “How do you want to feel?” Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be wise? Do you want to be strong? Do you want to be creative? Do you want to be calm? Do you want to be secure? Do you want to be courageous?

Of course, you may well want to be all of these things and many more which is fine. The point to get clear on is – what are the main emotional states that you believe will bring the greatest joy into your life?

If we are honest, it’s not really the job or the goal itself we are chasing. It’s the feeling we hope to achieve once we get there.

But if we are not clear on where it is we want to go or what that feeling is we want to experience when we arrive – is it any surprise that life can sometimes feel a little disappointing?


Ultimately, everything we do is an attempt to express a state of ‘being-ness’ – what we eat, what we wear, how we speak and where we work are all ways in which we express elements of who we are but how often do we spend any time clarifying what those states really are or actively try to implement them into our reality?

More often than not what we actually do is spend more time focusing on what we don’t want to be and become an expert in this field!  But it’s important to remember that the subconscious mind does not perceive the dualistic reality that we experience with our five senses. The subconscious does not care if we ‘seed’ thoughts that we perceive to be good or bad – it will nourish all of them equally well and will eventually help bring them into our experience.

Want to know how to be more authentic, open-hearted and happy?

This is why when clients say to me “I want to feel calm” or “I want to feel relaxed” my immediate response is to ask how often they are honestly spending every day focusing on that desired state of being.

As humans, we tend to focus more on our anxiety or worry states and how we don’t want to feel – thereby unconsciously drawing those negative emotions into our awareness. Imagine how amazing we would feel if for the first time in our lives we got really clear on how we actually wanted to feel and then set our intention to make that part of our everyday reality?

Allowing ourselves to move into that expression whatever we are doing. Whether we are going to the shops, going to meet friends or just going to work. With that kind of inner clarity and outer action, of course, it wouldn’t matter whether you were a florist, a barrister or an interior designer – you would simply be happy being you and isn’t that all that we are ultimately striving for?

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