“Your mind knows nothing but the past. It imagines the future will be just like yesterday so it makes decisions based on that. Only your heart can see beyond memory’s horizon…”

Neale Donald Walsh.


At some point during our lives, we will all inevitably experience difficult life events. Sadly we all lose people we love either through death, divorce or the ending of a relationship – so we will all have to experience this kind of loss at some stage.

But we may also have had to deal with a range of other challenging situations along the way as well, including the loss of a job, financial problems or even serious health issues or the aftermath of an attack or an accident. In the world of psychology – these are known as major life events.

These kind of events can have a huge impact on our physical, mental and emotional well-being, bring us to our knees and make us question the very essence of life itself. Usually the person recovers after some time and the trauma fades to a memory but sometimes we can keep on re-playing these old wounds.

When we experience a major life event like this, our mind collects data sent to it by our body and creates a version of the truth and often that version of the truth can be quite limiting.

If you have been hurt or abandoned by someone, for example, the data from your past may suggest that people cannot be trusted and the world is not safe. Or if you have lost your job or been made redundant you may have come to the conclusion that life is not fair and that lack abounds.

The truth is, of course, that events do not create reality at all. It is your perception of the event which creates your reality and it is the emotion that you then attach to that event which causes your experience. Are you still with me?!

We know this is true simply by looking at the world around us and noticing how different people react in completely different ways to the same situations. Five people may all be in the same car accident for example and have similar injuries. They may be treated in the same hospital, receive the same care and be discharged at the same time but it’s a sure fire bet they will all have a very different experience of the event to tell.

Patient one might feel completely relieved and thankful to see his family again and tell everyone how lucky he was that the accident wasn’t more serious and he is still alive. Patient two might feel extremely nervous about driving, have flashbacks and decide never to get in a car ever again. Patient three might be resentful that his injuries have caused him to have time off work and fall into a deep depression. Patient four might fall in love with one of the nurses at the hospital caring for him and always remember the accident as the time he met his fiancée. And Patient five might decide that they want to teach road safety to the local community and lobby the local council for road improvements and vow to turn the situation into something positive.

Despite having experienced the same event, each patient leaves with their very own personal interpretation of the accident and how it has effected them and the same goes for everything else in life too.

No one person ever experiences life in the same way because everyone’s internal personal data processing system is completely different.

A life event, therefore, never only has one meaning, it has whatever meaning that individual decides to attribute to it. The truth that that individual holds about it.

The good news here though, is that once we realise that we create our own version of reality, or truth, from the inside out, we can decide to change our story and create a reality we prefer at any time and this can be very empowering.

What’s the secret? It’s pretty simple really – we need to expand our internal database to include higher quality good data that serves us better.

If we only rely on data from our mind – it will always draw on past experiences which may also include a judgement or a filter and make us think that the future will be just like yesterday.

However, if we can access data from our inner wisdom or our heart centre we will generate an entirely different perspective on life. The mind stores experience and confuses it with wisdom thinking that the two are the same. But they are not.

Your inner wisdom or heart centre will always access the higher realms of consciousness and allow you to expand your awareness far beyond the realms of the mind’s limited understanding and you tend to get these insights in the moments of stillness, the moments of quiet contemplation not from your internal inner mind chatter or from the logical processing of past data.

The key is to try and replace any old focus point around past situations and replace them with a new event and a new belief of how you would like this situation to now be. Allow yourself to choose a new state of being that will allow you to become the highest version of who you would like to be and see where this takes you.

An example of this might be that the person who had been abandoned might decide to heal their  wounds and write a book to help other people experiencing deep loss. Or the person who was made redundant might realise that the situation has encouraged them to be more creative and authentic. This in turn allows them to see the job loss in a more positive light and helps them to explore new opportunities and pursue a new career far more in line with their true life mission.

Once we are in this place we can see that the life events that brought us to our knees and cracked us open might actually have been catalysts to help us evolve and grow and in many cases help others evolve and grow too since we all inextricably connected and that is a wonderful thing.

In this way we allow ourselves to truly open our heart and see a deeper, universal truth way beyond memory’s horizon…