Signs of Toxic Friendship

Understand how to spot an unhealthy ‘Toxic Friendship’ that no longer serves either of you…

I’m sorry to say but not all friendships are created equally. If you are questioning one of your friendships right now – you might be very right to do so.  We wouldn’t stay in a toxic romantic relationship. So, why do we often keep energetically investing in friends who are no longer on our wavelength? If you think one of your relationships has turned sour and might have entered the Toxic Friendship Zone. Read on! Perhaps you can relate to some of these toxic warning signs or toxic archetypes…

Sign of Toxic Friendship: LACK OF SUPPORT

The Fairweather Friend. 

You know who I’m talking about. You have probably invested a lot of time and energy in this relationship. But as soon as they find a new boyfriend to dote on, or an exciting new group of pals to hang around with, you don’t see to see them for dust! And heaven forbid if you have a problem and might need some support with something yourself. The Fairweather Friend isn’t there for you during important life moments, fails to celebrate your successes and doesn’t offer you comfort during difficult times. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve committed and emotionally available people in your life who don’t disappear when the going gets tough! 

Sign of Toxic Friendship: ENERGY ZAPPER

The Energy Vampire

This is the friend that can take days off your life and drain your very life energy!  You have probably spent hours talking to them about their relationship issues, counselling them with their tales of woe, and listening for hours on end about their general life problems. But sadly they rarely heed your advice and prefer to remain in victim land. The Energy Vampire friend leaves you feeling emotionally drained, anxious, or unhappy rather than uplifted and supported. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to have inspiring and energising friendships with people who lift you up not bring you down!

Sign of Toxic Friendship: NEGATIVE ENERGY

The Mood Hoover

Much like the Energy Vampire the Mood Hoover has an amazing ability to suck up all the positivity in the room and leave you feeling downright depressed. They always fixate on things they don’t like and what is going wrong in the world and rarely have a nice word to say about other people which makes you wonder what they are saying about you behind your back!  However hard you try it’s challenging to hold the space around the Mood Hoover friend who lowers your energy and sucks you into their doom and gloom. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to have positive and uplifting friendships with people who make you feel good about yourself and the world!

Sign of Toxic Friendship: DRAMA & MELODRAMATICS

The Drama Queen

This is the friend who is always having a nightmare or big explosive drama in their life and quite often tries to drag you into all the melodramatics too, making you feel stressed and overwhelmed. The Drama Queen is often so consumed in their own stuff they don’t have any time left for anyone else and they constantly need to bring people into the chaos. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to put your peace and wellbeing first. Your needs are just as important as theirs and it’s not your job to constantly sort out their drama.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: SELF-CENTREDNESS

The Selfish Sister 

This person isn’t necessarily a real sister or a family member but they certainly are selfish!  The relationship often feels unbalanced, with you always giving and them always taking. Sound familiar? In this dynamic, you tend to be the person putting in all the effort while they rarely reciprocate.  And if you do have a genuine need – strangely they are often nowhere to be seen! The Selfish Sister is happy to offload all their troubles on you but rarely (if ever) return the favour. It’s all about them. Or it used to be. Not anymore though!

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to have healthy, loving, supportive, relationships that are a harmonious balance of give and take.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: GOSSIPING

The Gossip Girl

This is the friend who talks about you behind your back, shares personal information without your consent, or betrays your trust in other ways. The Gossip Girl is often as nice as pie to your face but you cannot trust them with any sensitive information. They have a nasty habit of making you feel devalued and unsafe. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve people in your life who you trust implicitly, who talk kindly about you and who always have your best intentions at heart.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: ENVY & JEALOUSY

The Green-Eyed Monster

This is the friend who has an unhealthy fascination with you and often covets something in your life. It might start off with copycat behaviour or unhealthy comparisons but often leads to full-blown jealousy which can be really uncomfortable. The Green-Eyed Monster might be envious of your wardrobe, your lifestyle,  your career, or even your relationships. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to attract solid friendships with secure people who are comfortable in themselves and respect and admire your achievements.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: COMPETITIVENESS

The Competitive Cohort

This is someone in your life (like the Green-Eyed Monster) who feels threatened by you in some way and they become overly competitive or jealous of your achievements. Rather than celebrating your success, and bigging you up, the Competitive Cohort will compete and compare themselves to you and even try and bring you down. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to have supportive friends who champion you and celebrate your accomplishments not people who feel jealous of your sucess.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: SPITEFULNESS

The Back Stabber

This so-called friend is someone you really need to look out for because their behaviour can actually be spiteful and harmful. For some reason, you trigger them and they feel the need to emotionally hurt you or bring you down. The Back Stabber is a little like the Gossip Girl but the energy is even more toxic because they actually want to inflict pain in some way. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to surround yourself by kind and considerate friends who ‘have your back’ and show you love and compassion. 

Sign of Toxic Friendship: MANIPULATION

The Master Manipulator

This is the friend who uses manipulative tactics to get what they want, such as guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or exerting pressure on you. Because they are so good at getting their own way and playing the victim card, often you don’t even realise you are being played. The Master Manipulator will take advantage of your kindness and good nature to get something they don’t deserve. Or try and make you feel bad if you don’t play ball. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve authentic, honest friendships with people who play fair and treat you with respect and integrity.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: SELF-IMPORTANCE

The Queen Bee

This is the friend who always wants to be the centre of attention or the star of the show. Their priority is constantly maintaining their ego status and you will only remain in favour as long as you have the desired social standing or something else they want. The Queen Bee likes to see themselves as the Alpha in a group and will often try and control you and their large crowd of admirers. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to be treated as an equal without judgement and have authentic, balanced, relationships in your life.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: CONTROLLING

The Control Freak

This is the friend who tries to control your actions, decisions and other relationships, making you feel restricted and even dependent on them. Often they are very domineering and dislike you having other close friends. The Control Freak is used to getting their own way and so doesn’t like it if you have a difference in opinion. It tends to be their way or the highway! Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! Your views count and it’s OK to have a difference in opinion. You deserve to be around people who create a safe space for your voice to be heard.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: BULLYING

The Mean Girl

This is the friend who has gone one step further than the Control Freak who actually tries to bully you into submission and will actively hurt you to get their way. Sadly hurt people sometimes hurt others and they haven’t yet discovered that they can break the pain-chain. The Mean Girl will actually abuse her power within the relationship to get her way and it’s one of the most toxic types of friendship which doesn’t serve either party. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You won’t allow people to bully you any longer. You deserve to be around people who empower you not disempower you.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: PUSHES BOUNDARIES & BUTTONS!

The Boundary Pusher

This is the friend who consistently disregards and disrespects your boundaries, whether emotional, physical, or personal and ignores your need for space and privacy. They tend to be very selfish individuals who think the world revolves around them and have little regard for your needs. The Boundary Pusher tends to be so thick-skinned and emotionally unaware that they miss subtle hints and cues and seem to enjoy pushing your buttons. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! Your needs are important and valid and you don’t always have to say ‘yes’ to others. You deserve friends who honour and respect your boundaries.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: LETS YOU DOWN

The Constant Cancellor

This is the notoriously unreliable friend, who frequently cancels plans at the last minute or fails to show up when you need them the most. You are so used to them letting you down that you just can’t trust them any longer because they have become a bit of a liability. The Constant Cancellor isn’t necessarily malicious but they are thoughtless and inconsiderate and their lack of commitment make you feel like a very low priority and rather unloved. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve to invite friends into your life who respect you and your time and show you more care and  consideration.

Sign of Toxic Friendship: LACK OF EMPATHY

The Empty Empath

This is the shallow friend who expects you to always be there for them at the drop of the hat but when the shoe is on the other foot. They show little empathy or understanding for your needs. They are so used to you being the strong supportive friend that they can’t cope if you show any vulnerability or ask them for help. The Empty Empath isn’t really interested in you or anyone else for that matter and they continually show little consideration for your thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Making the whole relationship very one-dimensional and one-sided. Not anymore though.

Healthy Boundary Alert! You deserve people in your life who you connect with at a deeper level who are empathetic and understanding and show genuine interest in you as a person. 

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Find out more on the Hypnotherapy for Relationships Page

Hypnotherapy for Relationship Issues - couple holding hands

Imagine having rewarding, happy and loving relationships...

Are you struggling right now communicating with a friend or partner, or do you feel like you’ve hit a rocky patch and need a little extra help? If so, perhaps it’s time to try Hypnotherapy for Relationships.

The Wisdom Room offers a safe space for individuals to address and work through their own personal relationship issues. Here’s how it can be beneficial:

How can Hypnotherapy help my Relationship?

1.  Improved Communication:  Hypnotherapy for Relationships can assist individuals in developing better communication skills, which are essential for healthy relationships.

2.  Emotional Healing: It may help individuals process and heal from past emotional wounds or traumas that could be affecting their current relationships.

3. Changing Behavior Patterns:  Hypnotherapy for Relationships can also be used to identify and modify negative behavior patterns that may be causing problems in relationships.

4. Stress and Anxiety Reduction: Reducing stress and anxiety through hypnotherapy can lead to more peaceful interactions and better relationship outcomes.

5. Enhanced Self-Esteem: Hypnotherapy for Relationships can help individuals boost their self-esteem and self-confidence, which can positively impact how they engage in relationships.

6. Overcoming Relationship Issues: It may help individuals address and work through personal issues that affect their relationships, such as trust issues, insecurity, or fear of commitment.

7. Boosting Confidence: Hypnosis can increase self-confidence and self-esteem, which can positively impact one’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.

9. Enhancing Intimacy: Some individuals use hypnosis to address intimacy-related concerns or to improve their emotional connection with their partner.